Believe In The Presence And Power Of the Living God In You…And Be Transformed; For It Is Possible For All Of Us…No Matter Who We Are Or What We Have Done! Amen… 
Y’all Be Love! 
“I didn’t survive my struggles without the help of angels on earth, strategically placed in my life to assist me at the proper times. And many times, when I needed help, it was some of the ones with the least to offer that would be first to come to my aid. There were definitely not many, but just who and what I needed at the time. Churches and other “help” organizations never seemed to have anything left when it came to assisting me. Too many rules and stipulations to giving help in this world today. Why can’t we, using discernment, just help! We see a person in need, just help, if we are able. If we are not able, then pray for the person within yourself. But always strive to help. Granted, I have missed many opportunities to assist people because I was unable. But I pray, for them and for me, because I usually feel bad for a while when I am unable to help.
I have always been a generous person, always ready to help, even as a kid. It didn’t matter who knew, but it made me feel good on the inside; a feeling that I couldn’t describe at that time. To truly help a person is to not expect anything in return when you do. Helping is not to feel the need to alert other ones to your deeds; not to expect “well-done” or a “pat on the back” from others. Trust that your efforts never go unnoticed in the heavenly realms! But many rich people, not all, are good for that. They will donate money to a cause, then have it publicly, nationally, or whatever, announced that “so-and-so” has just donated this amount or that amount to this, that, or the other. I personally don’t feel like charity donations or help to others should necessarily be promoted, because what is done in secret, God knows and will reward accordingly.
“Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. Therefore, when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, they have their reward. But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth …” (Matthew 6:1-3 KJV)
Integrity is not just about helping others. It has a lot to do with what we do when no one else is watching, in regard to our own truths of what’s right and wrong. An example would be the sharing of secrets that were supposed to be kept confidential. When someone reveals a thing to you and ask you to keep it a secret, and you agree, then that’s your word that you will keep that secret. And we all know that your word is supposed to be bond. But is it always? Even in the shortest of conversations, we can sometimes reveal more than we should, if we do not stay aware of our words.
Sometimes, we may even take things that we know we shouldn’t take, if we really break it down. For example, office supplies taken from work for personal or home use; pens, pencils, printer paper, that can of Lysol from the bathroom, tissue; things that we think wouldn’t be missed, but at the same time, that still does not belong to us. The copying and sharing of private files on the internet, such as copyrighted music files, or private videos that were asked not to be shared, but are, and are being viewed as if it’s the right thing to do because its available. When Napster was out in the late 90’s, I was on it; getting all of the music for “free” that I could find, because it was available. I knew it was wrong, according to the laws and by-laws of the industry, but as wrong as it was, I was getting it in. I wasn’t thinking then on the level that I am thinking on now.
My ideas and principles about life were totally and completely different then. I viewed things differently than I do now. But I had to at that time, in order for me to understand those wrongs at this time in my life; on the long walk “Home”, back to the Light from where I originated, my starting point. And, no, it’s not easy to look within and see the lack of integrity within oneself! Especially when we may have thought we were on the right track, doing the right thing; you know, when doing that minor little immoral thing that we thought would be okay to do, because no one saw it or would know. But keep in mind, the Exalted One knows all, and metes accordingly. But once those discrepancies within us are confronted and understood by us, it becomes easier to live with the integrity of the higher self, with higher vibrations, in the Spirit of Truth.
We must honor Love, in all its forms and capacities, because God is Love. There is a difference between being “in Love”, and having Love for someone, because there are all kinds of Love. There is lust love for the physical body, there is a love that we just have for certain people, such as for friends, family, life, or collective love for humanity, hopefully. So many types of Love that we can’t even name. However, sincere Love emanates from the heart for someone or something that we hold dear to us, for whatever reason. For example, there is Love for our parents and siblings. There is Love for our extended family and close friends. We have a certain Love for various people, places, and things; a favorite person to hang out with, place to be, or thing that we enjoy doing most, that gives a definite feeling of joy. But Love can be confusing when ones are not aware of their feelings. Growing up, my best friend was male. He was a straight male who enjoyed “guy” things and had many girlfriends. Although many thought we were in a romantic relationship, we were not. He was my best friend, the brother I never had. We talked and discussed our relationship issues, and we looked out for each other. He is still my friend and brother whenever I see him.
Then, there are the one-sided relationships where one person gives more than the other, out of Love of friendship or otherwise, but the other person gives nothing and only takes. We all have had family and friends in that category. But, sincere Love for God, yourself and others emanates straight from the heart, a place that is not visual to man, and can only be felt through feelings and compassion for another. That will be what counts in the end because what is in your heart is what will go with you when you leave this earth, unlike “materialistic” Love. We can buy things all year long to prove our Love to someone, but the heart is what God sees. Sometimes people think that they are in Love, but they are not in Love with that person, but they Love the person because they are attached to them, maybe because they have kids together and think that they should be together, or some other reason, you know?
It is not worth it to “shack up” with someone as though you are married, if it’s not official, first in your heart, and, in the eyes of the Exalted One. If the “wifey” or “husband” role shall be played, then let it be so with a wife or a husband, in Truth. For me, it becomes too much to play a role in life, especially when it goes against my ideas and convictions. To be untrue to myself, is to live a lie in Spirit. Think about it, at this stage in the game, at my age! Yeah, many of us have tried it when we were younger, thinking that we were in Love and all of the time it was lust, or some other damn crazy ass reason, but it wasn’t Love. If it was Love, we would still be together. I mean, how many times have we been in Love? Most of us can’t count them. But it probably wasn’t Love, but lust; and within a short time, they were gone.
You learn a lot about people when you live together, and most of us are not willing to tolerate from others what we won’t tolerate with ourselves, such as filthiness, infidelity, lack of compassion, truthfulness, many things that we don’t consider until the desire and lust fades away. But it’s total fuckin’ disrespect, straight disrespect, for myself or anyone else, to accept from others that which we would not do to ourselves, or another.
It was disrespect to myself to keep doing and allowing the same shit that I been doing and allowing, getting the same results. A change has to come at some point within each and every one of us; and growth is what it’s called. If we haven’t grown between the ages of twenty to fifty years, then, we are “slow” indeed, and of course, there may be reasons! Still though, there are many of us that may need to go back and start all over again because we are still “standing at the bus stop”, still “sitting on the curb” so to speak. And though that bus or opportunity has gone by a thousand times, still many will wait, instead of enacting the necessary changes.
There were a lot of times some of us would be like “I’m going to get a particular dude, I’m gonna get him…”, even if it was messing around with other people’s mates. It was never a “relationship” for me, it was just something that I did, for whatever reasons. But you will pay for it! And it’s definitely nothing I would pick and choose for myself at this time in my life, because even then I knew it was wrong. It was a disgrace to God, myself, and the lover’s God-given mate; never thinking, that eventually the tables would be turned, over and over again, until we learned.
So, if someone messed around on you, is it justifiable to do the same thing? Only in ego, which is false. But it won’t justify it in your Spirit and your Soul, because a “tit-for-tat” won’t make it right. That can go on forever. But it has come back on me, several times. However, that type of stuff is “dead and stanky” now. I now have a grander respect for God, myself, and others, and I Love me too much to step down like that again. Love is not confusion, and God is not of confusion, for He is Love. Now, if God is not confusion, how can Love be? It has to be true, if there is arguing and fighting all of the time in a relationship, then that relationship shouldn’t be. If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it! It’s a dead issue! That’s not Love, that’s stupidity. I speak from experience on that.
I talk about the things that I have been through, because that’s what I know, but everybody may not feel the same way because everybody’s got their own shit to live with. We live and learn, the hard way, but we learn. And when you know better, you do better! Generally, everything comes back to the same idea, right is right, and wrong is wrong, and we all have an innate knowledge of those two concepts. My main concern about romantic Love and relationships is the idea of one woman to one man. I want my own man, the one that God will approve of for me. I don’t want that one I went out there to find, the one that I asked God to “please make him my man!” I want that one that God said, “Look here, I know how Win is, she’s got a little fire in her blood; she likes to be by herself at times for contemplation with Me; I have the perfect man for her! And this is, so-and-so, and I am going to fix it so that they can come together.” It’s going to be a “Godsend” man, not a “Win-send” man! It won’t be a man that I have been out there looking for. When I lay in the bed with that “Godsend” man, we will hold each other, Love each other, talk to each other, laugh, or whatever, but we will belong to each other in our hearts and in the eyes of God.
So, yes, before falling into romantic relationships, we should always question ourselves, “Do you Love him or her as a person? or “Are you in Love with him or her as a lifelong mate?” I tell you what, after all of these years, when God send or set up the meeting between my man and me, it won’t be just Love and cuddling! But my man is going to make Love to me every day that we are able. Excuse me, but he is going to f*** me, and make love to me, simultaneously, sharing our Love, dreams, fears, passions, and desires with one another, in a way that pleases the Heavens; in a way that God intended when He brought us together. I am going to f*** him every night that I can and talk dirty to him! True; Indeed, the Universe has no qualms with sex and passion, because it’s natural, and it brings forth life! But it must be a sacred union between two Spirits, deemed worthy of one another, by the Exalted One! 
That, of course, is my point of view though. When my partner or I make a mistake or do something “crazy”, we won’t be mad or scorn each other, but we will laugh, together. He may slip or something, not hurting himself, and I will laugh, of course; but I will still help him. We may stumble over our words sometimes, we’ll laugh, and still correct each other, if necessary; just enjoying most things about each other. I say “most” because no one is perfect. Whatever it is, we’ll laugh and enjoy one another, because that, to me, is what a relationship should be. Even when Love is not being made, and you are just sitting around one another, laughing and talking, you are still being intimate. Spirit to Spirit, enjoying one another. Yeah, it gets rough on a sister; but I would rather wait for that, than to settle for lust and untruth, because everything is not worthy of me and my Love. And that’s real; and we should all consider that about ourselves.
If you honestly think about it, “making Love” is a sacred thing because all kinds of spiritual things happen that people don’t even realize. When you make Love to a man, a woman feeds that man knowledge through DNA, and guys don’t realize that! People don’t understand the sacredness of it. You know, so when ones are out there having sex, or fucking everybody else, you are messing up a whole bunch of shit, within yourself and with the other person. Just think about it, every time we make Love, and it gets “good” to us, who do we call on? God! “God it’s so good”, or “Oh God…!” You know, it’s a spiritual thing, a sacred thing, but most people don’t think about that. I am so grateful that I don’t need to have lots of lovers to make a “complete man”, or to “complete” me. For I am now in complete union with the Universal Force; the Spirit of God, and no amount of men or their attentions could subjugate that union. Many people meet up with one another just to have sex, and then consider that a relationship. But a relationship should be developed before the “booty calls”. And a lot of times, it’s the ones we don’t want, or are not “attracted” to, that are the “Godsends”, but we have to stop limiting ourselves to inadequate beliefs about what real Love is.
“Drink water from your own well; share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” (Proverbs 5:15-19 NLT)
The hardest part about Love, to me, is having to let go. Having to let go of a loved one struck down by death in the physical, or a beloved mate or friend due to an ending season. We become attached to those things that we love, that are ingrained on our hearts and minds; the one person or thing that we fear losing. When there is a fear of losing something, then there is an attachment. And most often it is not as hard to get over a loss as it is to get over an attachment. If you can grieve and accept the loss with understanding, at some point, knowing that Life continues, then the attachments to those routines, presence, ideas, hopes, dreams, what-ifs, etc., will cease quicker. The person may be long gone for whatever reason, but yet we hold on to these mental “attachments”; thoughts that we know are futile but continue to let consume our lives, because, maybe, to let go of them is like experiencing the initial loss all over again. But to continue holding on to attachments, that are long gone, causes stagnation within oneself. Know that death and loss of any kind is only a transition to a different place, and for a different purpose. Life is never-ending, and Love never ceases, but our physical presence is felt only for a season.
We must pay attention to energies, morality, integrity, and desires, and not take these things for granted. Learning to control the “Serpent” within, and learning to discern different energy sources develops a personal connection to Nature and the Higher Forces. Being around bad energies brings your vibration down, and, of course, good energies lift it. You see it in everyday life, especially in the negativity of social and mainstream medias. People will jump on any bandwagon that feeds their ego or helps them to feel “connected” to the masses. I have observed the ramifications of social media and have come to realize that it can be used for good or bad, but most civilized people would rather use it in a negative way, to promote their personal agendas, regardless of who they hurt, as opposed to promoting, helping, and uplifting the masses as a whole, for the betterment of society. Today, we all have the power, to make it more good than bad; but, in order to do so, we must choose what our individual Truth is and stand by it!
“We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby, know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error. Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love.” (1 John 4:6-8 KJV)
Onward and upward, I go, to the place of my origin, to my homeland, to the heavenly realm. There, I know, the Most High and the heavenly hosts, will welcome me!”
The Mark of God: Conversations with Win, 2016-2017
References
King, G. R. (1935). The “I AM” Discourses. Schaumburg,
Illinois: Saint Germain Foundation.
The Holy Bible: KJV. (n.d.). Thomas Nelson, Inc.
The Holy Bible: NLT. (1997). Wheaton, Illinois: Tyndale
House.
The Mark Of God: Understanding Your "I AM Presence" 