“There was another time when I called on God and the Heavenly Hosts to assist me in a street altercation. It was a Saturday night and people were out doing, what they do! It came up a situation where me and the people I was with, ran into some dudes who had “issues” with us; simple asses who didn’t care about fighting women. So, when an argument ensued between a person that I was with and one of the dudes, I tried to break it up. But vibrations were down, and dark forces were on the scene. I know this to be so, because when I called for assistance from the Heavenly realm, it was given. So, I’m trying to stop the two from arguing so that we could get in the car and leave. Well, another dude came over and hit me in the nose and drew blood! Oh my!
So, I touched my nose to see if it was bleeding. I said, calmly, but to myself, “He dun made my nose bleed; now I got to fight this motherfucker.” I mentally went into prayer as I was getting into my stance. I said, “God, now, you know I don’t want to be out here fighting. But if I have to, don’t let me play myself; let me knock this lil’ dude out.” Ego, or no! Next thing you know, my whole heart changed; I went into BEAST mode. Another dude stuck me from behind and it felt like a feather. I looked at him and said, “You know what, that didn’t even hurt; but I’m getting ready to knock your boy out.” They started to jump me, but my peeps pulled her weapon, which was a blade, and told them to get back. So, me and lil’ dude fought, and it didn’t end well, for him, or his boys.
Again, in the eyes of many I was wrong. I should have walked away. “A grown woman had no business fighting men in the streets” …blah blah blah. I won’t say that a grown woman shouldn’t fight men on the streets because there may come a time when it’s necessary, unfortunately, in this day and time. But what I would say is that a woman, period, shouldn’t have to fight men at all, in the streets or anywhere else. But a Goddess should know how to defend herself, regardless! It allows ones to know her “boundaries”, as well as herself. Our power comes from within us, not outside of us, and there was no dark knight dressed in white coming to save me. But leave them spirits (alcohol), ALONE!
So, was I wrong to not walk away? After reflection, again, I realized I should not have allowed myself to be put in that situation by avoiding the atmosphere altogether. But I didn’t. And since I put myself in the game, I had to play the game, even if I thought my intentions were “right”. What’s right for one person may not be right for the next one; what’s wrong for the one may not be wrong for the other. All things have to be weighed in balance according to one’s own truths. Some encounters are for lessons and others are tests for the “warrior wanderer” on the road back home to the Life and Love of God. But I am grateful, and I now know that God is and has always been in my Life, regardless of what I was doing or where I have been. Unlike man, who looks at the outer, God looks at the heart!
After consideration, I would react differently at this time in my life, not in defending myself, but in allowing myself to be in those types of environments and around those lowered vibrations. Gratefully though, the Divine Masculine was, at that time, and is in the present, active within me, and is always involved for my protection and security, as well as the Divine Feminine. However, always know:
“There is no discord in the universe, except that, which the personality creates!” (Saint Germain)
Honoring our bodies is another act of morality that we should come to understand completely. Our physical body is the House of God, no matter how you look at it. It contains the Almighty Spirit. Each breath we take is the rhythm of God; each movement we make is God in action. So, therefore, if we Love and honor God, then we will Love and honor ourselves; if we Love and honor ourselves, then we Love and honor God. It’s that Simple! Of course, I haven’t always done that. I haven’t always known that. But these are the things you learn by looking within instead of outside for personal answers, through reflecting on your own life experiences, and by asking “and it shall be given.”
God is in you, so the Spirit knows your heart and inner most desires and is willing to oblige. But we can’t truly know this Spirit until we look within, that’s where you will find it. We are to honor this Spirit through Love for all things, including meditation, proper diet, clean living; joyous living, cheerfulness and gratitude for all things, big and small; good and bad. And for some of us, it may include the intake of substances and the partake in certain activities. Respect for oneself is to respect the Kingdom of Heaven, which is within you; and as above, so below. No, I haven’t always respected or regarded my physical body highly, in regard to it being sacred to the “Kingdom”. I have consumed alcoholic beverages for years on end, starting as a little girl. I have tried my hand at a couple other drugs outside of marijuana; and I am grateful that God was with me, to keep me from becoming addicted to anything other than my love for weed.
I have shared my precious Love with one’s unworthy of that Love; or did I just find myself unworthy due to my lowered vibrational state? It wasn’t that they were necessarily unworthy, but maybe I found myself so unworthy for whatever reason, that I thought that was all I was worthy of. Hmmmm; reflection. I have lived in sexual immorality, as have many of us. Having sex outside of a committed relationship, I now see, as immoral, where I didn’t before. Not realizing the spirituality and sacredness involved in the act of sharing energies and knowledge, opening gateways to other dimensions, the Love that it puts back into the universe, and the heavenly songs sung by the angelic hosts who are enthralled with the idea of two Spirits unifying as one in the eyes of God, I took it all for granted and paid dearly for it. Like I said before, the negative people and environment that we associate ourselves with, can have an effect on us, if we are not conscious of it.
Many times, we get caught up in just living and just doing. And if we even have an inkling or thought of God or anything spiritual, it gets put on the backburner as we neglect it and give our undivided attention to, just living and doing, regardless of what it is. I realize now that there were a lot of things that I would not have done had I not been drinking. Anything that alters your mind to the degree where you are out of control of your actions on a reasoning level, leaves you vulnerable to dark forces unseen. Your psyche is open, and ideas and thoughts are easy to implant, making us subject to damn near anything. I am not blaming anyone else or anything for my actions, but I’m just saying that if we are not aware of who we truly are, within, then we will always be vulnerable. I was in such a state and was doing any and everything that I thought I was big and bad enough to do. But karma is a motherfucker and comes back on everybody, eventually. Back then though, it didn’t seem to come back so quickly, or maybe I wasn’t paying attention. But now, you reap what you sow in an instant, it seems like. Time has sped up so maybe that’s what happens.
But I have been with guys who I wouldn’t admit to, denied till the end. I have been with a married man or two, and that, I knew was wrong and still know is wrong. I had always been told that; and I knew and understood that concept well. So, that I KNEW, was gonna come back on me. But it had happened to me before, and I saw others trying it and claiming it worked for them, so I tried it. It was nothing I was quick to do, but I did it. Like I said, hurt people hurt people and are not concerned with their actions at the time. It was not a thing that I could continue because that “feeling” within me was serious about that rule.
To lay with another woman’s husband, to know him, to share your energy, knowledge and spirit with someone who is not your husband, is not only wrong, but nasty and degrading. So, I guess in not understanding myself, I was wrong, I was nasty, and I degraded myself to the utmost, when I lay with one who was not given to me by God. The guilt consumed me, of course, and the Spirit chastised me dearly. I lived it out and paid in full. I have forgiven myself for those few times when I stepped out of the bounds of my truth, early in life, knowing full well the consequences. Many of the people that I associated myself with at that time continued in those types of relationships, and I saw the continual effect it had on them, the lowered vibrational state that they existed in while shamelessly continuing in their relations. It was a sad state of affairs, all around.
We must respect our Temple, and to have sex with a person is to share all that you are with that person. So, if we Love and respect ourselves, then we will automatically feel the need to be careful about who we share our Love with. We should, at any costs! “Making Love” is sacred between a husband and wife, a connection to God, and completes a Trinity: man, woman and God, unified as One in the heavenly realm, the unseen realm of the Exalted One. During a sacred and truly loving union between a man and a woman, deep emotional feelings become overwhelming, knowledge is shared, Spirits commune, and the Presence of the Exalted One can then be experienced.
Sometimes it’s not easy to stop doing some of the things that seems to have become a regular part of your life, like drinking, partying, or feeling the need to have sex with someone, for whatever reason. But when you recognize that the Spirit of God is a major player in your life, behind the scenes, then miracles start to happen, and shit starts to change. The Exalted One will shut you down to all that you are doing which grieves your spirit, if you are unwilling to do it yourself.
Remember, we all made agreements before we came here as to what we had to do or learn. And when we continue to ignore the reminders that were set, and you know them by the way you feel, then our hands must be forced, so to speak. In my case, I kept drinking, and it affected my body to the degree that the drinking had to go. The people that I was associating myself with, started to “turncoat”, move away or die off. My little hangout spots started shutting down. I started to get easily bored with the things of old that I used to do. I began to stay home, smoke weed, and listen to music. My circle grew smaller, till it became just me.
I then began to hear, in the silence. I began to know what was grieving my Spirit so much. When I laid low from a lot of people, places, and things, I noticed that my sexual desire decreased. It didn’t bother me so much at first because I was tired of a lot of things and had been going through so much. But at some point, I started to worry about myself. I thought I was getting too “old”, I thought I was dying, I thought I was gonna “turn” to women, because so many women do when they get discouraged with men. All kinds of things were going through my mind. But it was none of those things. It was the hand of God, shutting me down, setting me apart, for reasons, I didn’t understand at the time. All kinds of things were going on in my physical and spiritual worlds at that time.
After reflection, I understand that many of those things had to be experienced by me so that I could see the Truth within myself, for my life. I had to be still so that I could listen. And, because I didn’t comprehend, or remember the magnitude of the situation and agreements that had been previously made for this life, I was shut down and had to become a simple student to the mysteries of all that I was going through, and to the ancient ones, I had forgotten.
“For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit, shall of the Spirit, reap life everlasting.” (Galatians 6:8 KJV)
We must honor ourselves by living with integrity. Once we become awakened to the Divine Spirit that dwells within us, we must live in that Truth and stand firm in our beliefs; never straying from those beliefs, especially for the accolades of “man” or the “world”. Divine rewards come as miracles and blessings which emanate from the Kingdom of Heaven, the invisible realm where cosmic and universal laws are eternal and always in motion. Man sees the outer appearance, but God sees the heart and is able to reward accordingly.
We are all confronted on a daily basis with choices that requires us to live in our truth. And only we know what is true for us and can act virtuously according to what that truth is. Your Spirit will let you know what the right thing is to do by the way you feel. And all feeling pass through the solar plexus, or “gut” area of the body, so it is imperative that we become accustomed to listening to our bodies.
Even in the simple act of driving and allowing someone the opportunity to pass you when necessary and not trying to prevent them as if in a car race, is a choice between right and wrong. I mean, how hard is that? Will you still not reach your destination? Patience is, indeed, a virtue. How about when you extend an offering hand to a stranger in need when no one else is around to see. For example, when you are in the store and see that the person in front of you is struggling to come up with the amount of money needed for a food purchase or some other necessary item. An act of kindness would be to assist that person, if you are able; with a smile, and a thank you, with no expectation of a reward. I say a “Thank you” because whether we realize it or not, when we help another individual without expectation of reciprocation, in any form, then we are helping ourselves and also raising the vibration of humankind. In my life of struggles, I have seen that humbling Spirit in the least expected places. Not in churches or in so-called “pious” and religious settings, but in the poorest of communities and under the harshest of circumstances.
“Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment; thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty, but in righteousness, shalt thou judge thy neighbour.” (Leviticus 19:15 KJV)”
The Mark of God: Conversations with Win, 2016-2017
The Mark Of God: Understanding Your "I AM Presence" 